#6 And the award goes to.......
When I just couldn't get out of my head.... exhausting
Sonya M.
2 min read
Scan results again....and finally THE Plan!!
It was originally to be 4:00 PM, but then they moved it back by thirty minutes and naturally, instead of assuming something normal like “scheduling shuffle,” my brain went straight to "They’ve bumped me to the end so I don’t traumatise any other patients when I have a complete meltdown over the news!"
I mean honestlty! The drama was the stuff Logies and Oscars are made of. If there were awards for catastrophic overthinking, 100% I would be giving an acceptance speech.
So there I am, yak yak yak... telling Rob, “It’s got to be REALLY bad, why else would they give me the last appointment? It's so I don’t traumatise any other patients when I have my meltdown"!!!
Rob then has the audacity to be both logical and right saying “Righto, Miss Positivity, what happened to all that?”
I heard him, and yessss I agreed with him [I know!] and I knew [sigh] that he was right. I was thinking, "come on! get your sh%t together woman" nope, and as hard as I tried, I just could not get out of my head. My brain had locked the doors, drawn the blinds, and put up a “Do Not Disturb - Catastrophising in Progress” sign.
So yes, now the "this is taking forever" anxious wait began. It was my own doing. Go me....yeah, Not!
Finally my doctor called my name and before we’d even fully crossed the threshold, before the door had a chance to close, before my bum even considered the chair, he beams at us and says “Scans are all clear! And how are you both going?"
I mean....should a Dr just drop “scans are all clear” like a casual greeting before anything else? Hell yeah they can and should!! It wasn't just a standard greeting it was “here’s your entire nervous system and sanity back" greeting.
Instantly the whole room turned into a big 'ole' bubble of positivity! We went through The Plan which, was going to kick off with chemo first, then surgery, then radium therapy (or whatever the official sciencey name is…) My Dr explained that they [all the Specialists) had their weekly meeting, and it was unanimous. Unanimous!
Because chemo is going to shrink the lump down to basically a disappearing act, I now needed another ultrasound to get “clips” put in. Clips? As if my boob is now getting stationery installed, love that for me ha! The clips are little teeny circles of something and get placed at the sites that will need all the attention when we get to the surgical part of the Plan.
Next steps:
Book ultrasound and get clips
Meet oncologist
Start chemo
Basically we got it goin' on!!
It felt exciting, not in a “woohoo chemo!” way, but in a “finally, a plan and it's happening” way.
Oncologist’s office called the very next day. Appointment locked in for May 27th.
Things were moving, really moving and the plan was real. My brain wasn’t catastrophising, it was doing a little shimmy!
