#7 Processing it all so far.....
Sonya M.
2 min read
So many appointments. Doctors, scans, biopsies, results, referrals, specialists… then another specialist, then more scans. It felt like one of those walkway conveyor thingys at the airport that I hadn’t realised I had stepped onto.
In my head, I had imagined a far simpler sequence, GP get referral to specialist, go to specialist and get the plan, start the plan and done. I genuinely thought it would be that clean. But of course, the people designing the plan, the specialists, well they need every scrap of information and detail to build the safest and strongest path forward. I don’t know why I expected it to be different, I just did.
At that first specialist appointment, I said, “You tell me what I need to do and where I need to be, and I’ll be there.” And that commitment came with the reality of more bloods, more scans, more steps. Not obstacles, just what was necessary for the building blocks of the plan.
And honestly, it’s still going really great. Focusing only on the plan and the processes that support it has made everything calmer, lighter and so manageable. The less time I spend in my own head replaying conversations, overthinking tiny details, the easier this becomes. Best intentions, always.
At my oncologist appointment on the 27th May, another version of the same conversation. But by now, I had refined my “opening.” No more panicked blurting out the words. Just a steady, grounded “It’s really great to meet you, and before we start, there is something important I need to say first, if that’s okay.” And of course it always is.
I saw my oncologist on Wednesday 27th and chemo kicked off that Friday the 29th!! Interestingly, of all the info my oncolgist gave us, the only thing he wanted to make sure I remembered was if I got a temperature of 38 degrees go straight to the ED and gave us both a card that I had to present at ED.
I’m deeply grateful that every doctor and nurse has honoured and respected my request of no specifics of the diagnosis, only the details of the plan. That single boundary has set the entire tone of my journey back to wellness. It has kept me steady, kept me present and it has allowed me to walk this path with clarity and confidence and peace of mind.
My diagnosis is breast cancer. My treatment plan is Chemo, Surgery and Radium therapy [for now, it could change]. That is it in a nutshell and how easy is that to process, very! I am learning about the plan and the process and only what I want to know, when I want or need to know. With Chemo, I still don't know what type, just that it's a heavy double something or other, I do however want to know how that may affect me which has a flow on to my family. More on that because it's been a bit wild.