#17 The Countdown
8 down and just 4 to go. Digging deep.
Sonya M.
3 min read
I started this entire journey back in March when I discovered the lump in my right breast. This triggered doctor appointments, scans and imaging, appointments with specialists and more scans and imaging. I finally got 'the Plan' in late May and within 2 days started Chemo.
Fast forward to today and I am now having weekly Chemo, There have been a couple of bumps along the way with a chest infection which delayed the 4th treatment and then last week was delay because of a side effect which made my hands feel like they were burning. Out of 8 chemo treatments I have had a reaction to 6 during treatment, today being the 6th time BUT thankfully, no where near previous reactions so that is a big plus. The last two treatments I took a snack with me, a bag of cheese and bacon Cheetos and today.....no Cheetos so next week there will definitely be Cheetos!!
Now that the finish line is well and truly in sight for Chemo I am finding that I really need to dig deep. I am a bonafide walking pin cushion. Blood test every Friday morning, multiple attempts to find a vein that wants to behave itself for chemo and then the fatigue. It is cumulative and while not completely blahhhh [pardon the technical termonology], I just feel flat most of the time and it doesn't help when they double dose my on Phenergan like they had to today.
10 weeks ago I was having a moment and wondered how in the heck I was going to get through 12 weeks of weekly chemo and here we are with just 4 to go! Yes, there it is again because there ONLY 4 to go!!! Each day, week that I get closer to the chemo finish line is each day, week that I give myself a pep talk!! That little voice that reminds me of how far I have come and only 4 weeks to go!! My Oncologist reminds me at each appointment how exceptionally well I am handling the chemo in spite of the reactions and side effects and I really do put that down to:
1. Not wanting all the details of my diagnosis that would have had me constantly thinking, potentially worrying and worse still Googling!
2. Taking it one day at a time.
3. Living by "it isn't what happens to us but how we respond that is important". I can't control the physical diagnosis however I can control what I do, what I think. What I feel, well sometimes I have just had to lean in and sit in whatever feeling it was or is.... my 5 minute pity parties.
4. This blog. Sharing my journey has and is quite cathartic. Sharing how I have and am feeling, each new experience. This space allows me to decompress I think is the best way to put it.
5. Last and by no means least, the tremendous love, support and encouragement that I have around me. My family, friends, work colleagues, YOU! The hugs, the jokes and laughs, reminding me constantly that I am not on this journey alone.
Eyebrows have completely gone, eyelashes zero, still have no hair on my head BUT I don't have to shave legs etc!! Winning!! There are ONLY 4 weeks to go and then all and sundry will start to grow back.
After Chemo there will be more scans and imaging to go to my surgeon and then when I have that discussion I will decide.....yes, me! I will decide what surgery will be done. Maybe a lumpectomy followed by radiation or it might be a mastectomy or even a double whammy mastectomy.
I am a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason' and while at first we may not see what on earth the reason could be, especially when it is a breast cancer diagnosis I have come to realise that over the past 15 years or so, all the personal development training and research that I have done and been involved was really setting me up with all the tools and the inner strength to meet this latest challenge of BC head on! So what is the reason for the BC diagnosis?
Well, you're here reading it. Sharing my journey is not only self-supporting but if it helps even just one person who is on their own journey, be that cancer or anything else unexpected. The other by product of my diagnosis has me re-evaluating what is actually important and not getting hung up on the small stuff. What is the small stuff? Ohhhh pretty much anything else! Hehehe!
I am blessed beyond measure that chemo is doing its job, that I have a great medical team to work with on this and surrounded by an abundance of love and support.
If you know someone else that is going through something, never be afraid to show up for them and by showing up I mean that phone call to say "just wanted to call and say hi and let you know I'm here if you need" or a text message, or organise to catch up for a cuppa, even if that doesn't eventuate because of circumstances, that person will know that they matter and they will feel so loved and supported.
I know.....this blog post is a bit more....ummmm, not serious just not as light and funny [well I try].
Until next time! Live, Laugh and Love!!!