#11 Hair, Hips, Legs and a 5 minute Pity Party
The week that was. More hair loss, bone pain and a few other things.
Sonya M.
3 min read
You know how reunions usually happen at cafes, weddings, or the frozen-food aisle at Woolies when you're wearing trackies and pretending not to buy chocolates and ice cream? Well, not for me, not this time.
Not at all, I kick off Round 3 of Chemo by locking eyes with an old friend who is in the next cubicle like it's a dramatic soap opera moment [cue the dramatic music] except instead of a glamorous backdrop it's chemo recliners and IV poles. Then of course those words... seriously...."oh hey, what are you doing here" and then and awkward pause and then laughing. Kind of obvious what we're both doing there. Me and Rob and our friend and his wife who was also having chemo. It was nice though catching up on old times until it was time for them to leave.
Then mid week I was back to see my oncologist and again, a really positive conversation. Let's be honest, it's the only type of conversation I will have. My oncologist said, and I am paraphrasing but words to the effect of "I'm impressed, you're handling this chemo so well because it's a heavy dose". I couldn't stop my smile and feeling a bit chuffed about it all. We had a discussion about pain, which apart from that horrendous painful nightmare 24 hours 2 weeks before, it hadn't been too bad, tolerable for the most part. That wasn't good enough and he whipped out the prescriptions like Oprah handing out cars. A slow release pain med that I take morning and night and then for off the charts, stupid pain that could happen again, the fast acting one! Bliss!
There was the catch up with my amazing SES crew! So good to see them, it's been a couple of month - so special shout out to you all! No special treatment there let me tell you lol! Especially when I forgot to bring cake!!
A highlight this week was being reconnected with an old school friend who had her own breast cancer journey some years ago. A mutual friend put us in contact because she thought it might help for me to talk to someone who had been through similar and she was right. We caught up over the phone and I felt really honoured and humbled that she would shared her story with me. The conversation went like "so when I went through chemo I experienced....." and I was like "Yes! Same!" because we both agree that knowing what is "normal" can be a challenge. And just as I mentioned in my first blog, everyone's journey is different. While there is the common denominator, breast cancer and other similarities, her journey was very different from mine so far.
Now somedays my brain is "Yes let's do it" but my body be like "nope! That ain't happening" and Saturday was that day for me. Bone pain in hips and legs... Check check! The energy level of a wilted lettuce! Check! I was braless and emotionally done! I even had a 5 minute pity party, which when you think about it, it's quite efficient. 5 minutes to feel completely sorry for myself! Then after 5 miserable minutes, I paused and thought about things to be grateful for. Heading up the list of course were those pain meds!! The pain would have been sooooo much worse, another soap opera scene with a dramatic monologue. But my mood turned around. I still lay in bed, still with the energy of that wilted lettuce and the pain meds....well let's just say they also help chill things out.
Last but by no means least, my hair! Well it's 90% gone and at a stage where it's not 'falling out' but actively trying to escape my head. I have one patch left which is a matted, feral little mess.
So tomorrow's "shave day" for me is going to be more like a "light trim" but the best part, there will be food and alcohol!! No alcohol for me but for others there will be, just not ME!! Not that I am bothered by that much, I am bothered by that ALOT!! But I will be the sober queen of chaos!
At first the thought of losing my hair was the most confronting thing I was dealing with. Now? I will be soooooo glad to have it all gone because it is driving me nuts! My scalp is itchy and I will be so glad to be able to nourish my new sleek look with some Argan oil.
Ending on a really great note, today is a great day!! Why, because I am out of bed, I'm here typing away and yes the girls are still out and why, because I can!!
So cheers until the next blog which will likely be a video log of my "Shave" Empowerment Day!! aka - a trim and tidy up lol.
